I often hear people ask how women could have possibly voted for trump.
I’ve thought and said it myself, more times than I can count. How could they, with so many obvious reasons not to?
It’s possible that women who voted for and support trump were victimized in some way by brutal, narcissistic men. As a consequence, they equate brutality with strength. Aligning with this false strength is a misinterpretation of reality, and is a way to protect oneself from further harm.
Not all women who are abused identify with their abuser. Those that do often wake up to the realization that it is self-destructive to do so and then take steps to correct their misinterpretation of the facts.
Abuse can vary from psychological, to physical, to sexual, and has a profound and permanent effect upon our brains and nervous systems. Our internalized shame causes us to blame ourselves. We bargain, and even collude, with the abusive figure for survival. I’m no expert, but it strikes me as a form of over-compensation, at least.
The first step for anyone who has suffered abuse is to become aware of this profound dilemma. How (and if) we get to that first step is usually through a series of missteps and fortuitous events, such as meeting just the right person at just the right moment in our lives.
The last thing any woman needs, let alone one who supports trump, is more blame, shame, rage, or recrimination.
Suggestions for neutral-to-positive responses…
- These are troubling times. I understand your desire for change.
- We’re all struggling to make sense of a confusing and challenging time.
- During challenging times, I remind myself that we’re all in this together.
- In spite of what divides us, we have more in common than what separates us.
- The good thing is, we all love our country.
- I believe that we will find a way to work together.