Surviving [that guy]


I Butterfly WM

Millions of words have been written and spoken about [that guy]. So many, in fact, that I’ve wondered if one more essay on the subject is simply more shouting in the wind. I’ve decided that even if it’s true only for me, my perspective matters as much as anyone’s.

Living with someone with a severe personality disorder is no picnic — and right now, it appears that we all are. Uncle Creepy has moved in along with our chronic sense of fight or flight. Crazy-making at its best and a waking nightmare at its worst, narcissism is toxic. It is a continuous cycle of emotional storms, followed by apologies (in some cases), temporary good behavior, followed by the inevitable chain of paranoia, accusation, blame, scapegoating, and revenge.

Surviving chronic trauma has an effect on the survivor, of course. A number of interesting personality quirks can develop, including, in my case, the desire to understand human nature: our inconsistencies, our fallacies, our strengths, and our weaknesses.

Given that we are faced with the freak-show that is the Republican candidate for President, I believe that many of us are being traumatized, or re-traumatized,  on a nearly daily basis. It’s difficult to avoid exposure to it since the media consumes and regurgitates every nuance of his behavior.

A frustrating irony of dealing with a narcissist is that, to them, any attention is good attention. They are empty inside. Consequently, they have an insatiable need to attempt to fill it — by any means necessary. We see it every day.

My current response to the nearly universal coverage of [that guy] is to stop directly mentioning his name on social media, or simply refer to him as (lower case) ‘donnie’. I also avoid using his image whenever possible, even though I know ‘it sells’. I don’t hesitate, however, to share information from knowledgeable and trusted sources when necessary. There seems to be a lot of necessary, lately.

Small acts, yes, but they make me feel as if I’ve taken some control of my corner of the Internet.

It’s time to shift the conversation.

There are strong indications that the dynamic is changing. The gingerbread house is melting.

Rather than being a vote for the “lesser of two evils,” consider your vote a choice for the greater good.



A few or my recent tweets, responses, and random thoughts

That’s no drumbeat. It’s a cacophony of impulses, rage, and calculation.

There are days, more than I care to admit, when I feel trapped in [that guy’s] perpetual nightmare.

Every response to, or mention feeds his insatiable ego. No logic, ridicule, appeal, or insult will dissuade him.

Tweeting @ him just confirms how great he is — in his own sick mind. I tend to avoid it.

A new day, a new outrage. Our outrage feeds his empty soul. The more we react, the more he wants us outraged.

Life inside that rabid brain must be its own excruciating pain.

Narcissists are insatiable. The more we give, the more they want. Insults are music to a narcissist’s ears.

Donny is addicted to us.

Khizr and Ghazala Khan remind us of the huge heart of America. 

Feeling philosophical this afternoon about the political maelstrom we’re weathering. No conclusions or predictions. Calm, and at times amused … for a change.


I Butterfly II WM

My recent butterfly series bears no obvious reference to this post, aside from an esoteric allusion to transformation, and a grateful nod to nature.

@LoraCreativ / Twitter 

Lora Fisher – Creativ / Facebook




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